I have been a bartender and manager for 24 years. I have always loved my job and give it 110%, which most people would think is easy to do because it's an easy job, right? Let me tell you, it is NOT easy at all! It's hard labor! Anyway, I am getting off track here. I used to work 6 days a week. I would open at 9 a.m., do the books, go to the bank, etc., leave after lunch and be back to bartend at 7p.m. until 3 a.m. When I switched bars, I cut down to 5 days and was a night manager, so there were no early mornings for me anymore! Then 4 or 5 years ago, my boss brought his daughter into the business and I was demoted without even being told. I understand him bringing his kid into the business, but I feel like I was blind sided by it and there should have been some sort of conversation between him and I to let me know that this was happening. I cut my availability to bartend down to 3 or 4 nights a week with no weekends. I lost my motivation to help this man be successful any longer. Long story short, she quit after 2 years and he wanted me to manage again, I declined. I still work my 3 or 4 nights a week, but I am finding that my heart is just not in it anymore and I don't know what to do. I am just going through the motions.
This is my sole income. I keep doing it because I still have time to craft and try other things out, like working in a banquet hall on the weekends and it pays the bills. I am really unhappy and find my fuse getting shorter and shorter and the worst part is, that my regulars, that I've had for 12 years are starting to notice that I'm not thrilled to be there. I even tried moving to a different bar, but it's the job that I'm burned out and bored with. I have a great reputation in the city I live in for being a great bartender with a great attitude and a fair and productive manager and now I feel like I'm disappointing everyone, including myself.
I feel like I should quit and move on to something else, but what would I do? I have no idea! There isn't anything that I'm really passionate about. I love making jewelry and would like to learn more and make better pieces, but jewelry is saturated with talent. I enjoy painting vintage furniture, but I haven't really immersed myself in it. And anyway, would I ever be able to make it on my own crafting? I am not sure if I could push myself hard enough and stay motivated. Unfortunately it's easier and safer to work for someone else.
I am thinking of opening a booth at an antique shop and see if that takes off. I need to get on that, because I am so deeply bothered by my current mental state.
Just the rambling of a burned out bartender....
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